This is it, the final post of this series. It seemed to come so fast in some ways. In other ways it felt like it dragged (struggles). Still, we’ve reached the end of this chapter and yes, I am changed.

Day Thirty

Sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the LORD, all the earth. Sing to the LORD, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples. For great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;… Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and glory are in his sanctuary. ~ Psalm 96:1-4a, 6

Today’s lesson was very short and sweet. There were no food charts or hunger charts or observation/correction tools. Today we were encouraged to keep up the care of the temple, using prayer and ready God’s Word “as a watchman on those walls, as a sentry guarding and preserving your newfound freedom.”

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. ~ 2 Corinthians 3:17-18

We were asked to re-do the “My Relationship with God and My Relationship with Myself” questionnaire. Like yesterday’s look back, I was quite amazed by the difference in my answers. I felt so much more confident when I did the questionnaire too. Only three of my answers remained the same and the rest showed “improvement”.

In closing, we were encouraged to “cling tenaciously to the Savior who has bought you, the King that has wooed you, the Master that has freed you, and the Hero that has rescued you.”

I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful. ~ Jeremiah 31:3-4

So, at first I really didn’t want to try on the “day three goal pants” again. Part of me feared there would be no change. I mean, I haven’t exactly been awesome at keeping my boundaries. However, I decided that no matter what happened, I would lean on God’s power and provision to see me through it.

I am actually shocked to report that while snug, I could wear these pants if I wanted to. Not only was I able to button and zip them, but I could still breathe 🙂 Instead of posting a photo of a chart for today (there wasn’t one to fill out), I’ve decided to post a photo comparing the pants I started this journey wearing and the “day three goal pants”. When I set the goal, I couldn’t even make the button/zipper opening meet (several inches apart), let alone button them. I’m sorry, but this is totally amazing to me.

My outward size still has a ways to go, but I am confident that He who began a good work in me will see it to completion. Yes, this is the end of this blog series, but I will still update as I go along. I’m currently participating in a private online group that is going through the Thin Within workbook (12 weeks). They are currently beginning week 5 (remember, these posts are not posting in real time). Up until now, my focus has been on finishing the 30 day book, but I’ll shift gears to working through the rest of the workbook with them. Why? Because I want a full transformation and that requires continually renewing my mind.

I cannot expect to go through a 30 day study and have 28 years of diet mentality thoughts and behaviors completely gone. Am I more like a naturally thin eater than when I began? Absolutely, changes have taken place. However, the Bible tells us to put on the full armor of God. I’m not going to let my guard down because I know that when I’ve done that in the past, I’ve been pulverized. I end up working in my own strength. I end up thinking “I’ve got this” and my focus shifts away from the One who created me. When that happens, like Peter, the “laws” come rushing back. For him, it was the law of gravity. For me, it is the law of sin and death… it is the “path of my performance” instead of the “path of God’s provision”. It is living by sight rather than by faith. I choose faith. I am reminded of the following verse as I consider what has happened in my life time and time again:

“When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. ⁴⁴ Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. ⁴⁵ Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.” ~ Matthew 12:43-45 (NIV)

The visual created for me as it applies to this journey is: In the past, when I’ve begun to rely on the Lord fully, I’ve started by tossing out the world’s views with God’s help. Then, I begin to see my body changing. Things are coming together and I grow more and more confident in myself and less reliant on God. I become lax about renewing my mind in Christ. Then, that old diet monster (with its worldviews) returns to see what’s going on, he finds that my exterior looks to be “in order”, but I am utterly defenseless because I’ve set down my sword. I’m so busy “hammering with all my might” that I don’t even notice the intrusion. I work harder… in my own strength, to cling to the ground I’ve gained. Pound, pound, pound… until all I’m thinking about are the pounds, pounds, pounds. Diet Mentality brings Fear that I will go back to my old habits, so I work even harder (slash this, cut that, burn more). Fear brings Discontentment who says, “It’s not enough… more, more!” Discontentment brings Failure who shouts, “Where’s your God now?” And Failure brings Hopelessness and Futility… “a chasing after the wind”.

The next thing I know, I’m crying and saying, “why did I let this happen again.” No more! God’s grace is sufficient for me! I will keep the “sword” in my hand because God’s Word is sharper than any two edged sword!

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. ~Hebrews 4:12 (KJV)

Alrighty, that’s the end of Day Thirty for me. I pray that your journey through this book is one of Freedom and Joy.

To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy – to the only god our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore. Amen. ~ Jude 24-25