Moving right along, we’re already one tenth of the way through. Woohoo! I had a heads up from my friend about the topic of Day three, and I’m kind of glad I did. It gave me some time to mull over what the author would ask us to do.
Today’s lesson was on setting Godly goals. Now, if you’re like me, you probably associate goal setting with dieting… especially if it has anything to do with food, or size, or exercise. So, truthfully, I haven’t set any goals in these areas in a while.
I think what’s different about the presentation of these goals in this book is that she is suggesting we ask God what our goals should be. Novel idea right? When was the last time a secular diet book said, “maybe God has some thoughts on the goals you should set.” Um, never. So, I decided to go into this chapter with an open mind.
God created us for His glory. He wants our lives to reflect His joy, love, grace, and compassion so that people will recognize Him in our countenance. ~ Thin Within (p. 27)
I can definitely say that my countenance didn’t reflect God when I was restricting/dieting. Joy, love, grace, compassion… those are difficult when your focus is on everything that’s wrong with yourself.
Vision Statement Exercise
Anyway, our first task was to come up with a vision statement. Now, this one was difficult. I think I was really overthinking it at first because I didn’t want to just slap something on the page. Even though I went through today’s lesson this morning, I left several of the exercises blank because I just couldn’t come up with how to answer them… until about halfway through the day that is. Finally I asked God how I should answer the vision statement and He told me what to write… duh, should have done that to begin with.
Realistic Goals Exercise
Now, this exercise is the one I almost had a panic attack over. I have been working so hard to ignore my size, and here she goes asking us to set a size goal for these 30 days. At first I was like, “Heck no”, and then I decided to humbly ask God if I should do this exercise. I felt that He said, “yes”, and then I really felt at a loss because I had no idea what goal to set.
I remembered Lisa Bevere’s story about asking God to tell her what she should weigh. He gave her a number and told her not to step on the scale again until He said to. I would say that Thin Within is similar to what Lisa did to get in a right relationship with God and food, but her book doesn’t give you as much “how to”.
So, I asked God about what size I should be. He gave me a size that I would consider closer to my size “destination”, but I wasn’t sure that should be my goal for 30 days. It’s very possible I was limiting God by asking for something “else”. I just have this really strong fear of failure. He complied and told me to go into my closet and try on a pair of pants I haven’t been able to wear since last Fall. First of all, I was actually shocked by the fact that I could even get them over my derriere. I looked at the size and wrote that in the little blank in the book, BUT I wrote what God told me in the margin.
Yes, I know all things are possible with God, but I’ll be honest, I didn’t feel like I had a clear answer on that first size and whether it was for 30 days, or if it was where my natural body would settle… eventually. You know? It’s highly likely that my fear is hindering me, so I’m going to start asking God to give me fearless faith.
The other thing that was bothersome is I found myself thinking way too much about the sizes I wrote down. I had a sense of desperation well up inside of me to “make it happen”. I told God that focusing too much on my body size was what turned me toward dieting. I felt like He said, “leave the results to me.”
He has said this to me many times over the years. I do have peace when I stop trying to bring about the results. He told me to let Him guide me in the principles of eating like a naturally thin person, and He would handle releasing the weight. Sigh of relief.
I do believe that being free of this weight/dieting issue would be glorifying to God. Why? Because the only way I’m getting out of this mess is through Him.
The other two goals we were asked to set were less intimidating for me from a food/body image front, so it was easier to ask God what I should write down there. Now, that doesn’t mean they will be “easy” to accomplish lol.
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:31 (KJV)
I think the biggest thing I need to take away today is that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. Setting goals are fine as long as they are God’s goals for my life AND I’m not relying on my own strength to accomplish them.
Thin Within Observations
Today I felt like a total mess. Waiting for clear hunger is soooo difficult at times. However, I think what was most difficult today was how emotional I felt without food to soothe. I found myself in the kitchen numerous times looking for something to eat. Then I would check in and realize I wasn’t physically hungry… which meant something else was going on. Ugh. The dam broke and I cried a lot yesterday. I was really missing my “pacifier”. Of course, it’s also PMS week, so I’ve got hormone palooza happening too.
I really want to try to stick to my commitment to follow the 8 keys. At the same time, I refuse to get upset when I can’t check off every one of them.