oh be careful little wives what you say

We know the story… boy sees girl. He thinks she’s the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen. Then he gets to know her and she becomes even more beautiful. He likes how he feels when he’s around her. She’s confident, kind, and funny. He believes he could conquer the world for her. There’s a sort of glow around her. He can’t explain exactly why he’s drawn to her, but he is. He knows she’s the one for him. He goes to the jewelry store, selects a ring, works overtime to pay for it, and then he asks the most important question of his life. He’s nervous, but he knows she loves him… and she says, “yes”. Can you picture that Kodak moment? Their whole future is ahead of them. They are young and vibrant… and in love.

Fast forward a few years… and a few kids… and his once confident, beautiful wife seems so miserable. He doesn’t understand why she steps on that blasted scale. He just told her she didn’t look fat in her pants. Doesn’t she trust him? He can’t understand why she keeps calling herself “ugly”, she’s his bride, his chosen one, the beautiful mother of his precious children. He didn’t even notice the stretch marks till she pointed them out in disgust. He tries to tell her she’s beautiful… “You have to say that, you’re my husband,” she quips. So the next time he thinks it, he doesn’t say it because it doesn’t mean anything to her. He wants to be near her, but he doesn’t trust himself to say the right thing anymore. He also doesn’t want to hear her say one more thing about her grey hair or double chin… which he also hadn’t noticed till she mentioned them. He begins to wonder what happened to the woman he married. She’s so different. What about this Kodak moment? Kind of sad, right?

Wives, we must, must, must be careful what we say about ourselves… to ourselves, our husbands, our kids. If we call ourselves stupid, ugly, fat… etc, long enough, we (and everyone around us) will begin to believe it. What if, instead, we began to concentrate on complimenting others? What if we tried to put our best forward instead of harping on what we think we are not… or comparing ourselves to others… or having a pity party? What if we took our grey hairs and styled them the best we can. What if we dressed our imperfect bodies as though they were priceless? I don’t mean charging up those credit cards, I mean doing the best with what you have. If you have t-shirts and jeans… wear your best ones… and make sure they are clean. Maybe wear some perfume. Smelling nice really does help a lot. And then, don’t forget the most valuable accessory you have at your disposal… a smile. A person’s disposition can cover up a multitude of imperfections… or it can magnify them.

The choice is ours. What we say about ourselves matters. Our husbands are watching… and our kids are too.

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