…and two steps back?

Clearly my “stress eating” is still a problem. We had a scary couple of days involving one of my sisters… we’re fortunate she’s still with us. I felt very alone, being out of state and with the Husband clear on the other side of the country, as everything unfolded. I would love to report that I humbly leaned upon the Lord and victory was mine… I did try… Well, all dietary concerns flew right out the window. “Dr. Fuhrman who?” I tried to get back on plan, but I had a bad case of, “I can’t want to”. The 14-year old said this years ago when she couldn’t make her self do something she knew she should. We found her level of honesty refreshing and quite adorable (she was about 3). This week, I felt like I was doing good just to get daily prayer time and Bible study in, along with the kids’ lessons, co-op orientation, and financial planning stuff… while trying not to freak out about what my family was going through. Diet and exercise simply did not happen. In fact, yo-yoing is what happened… I immediately resorted to starve/binge – yikes!

So, I decided to alter my plan. Why? Because I need a bit of flexibility… because something is probably going to give… and that something will more than likely be food… because seeing that old disordered eating again freaked me out… and because the Husband, kids and I are already dealing with a lot of changes. Rather than just throw it all out the window, I’ve decided to expand the parameters. I’m still going to keep some of Dr. Fuhrman’s principals, I’m still vegan, I still believe added salt and oil aren’t good for me, and I’m still going to focus on whole foods… I’m just going to do it with different borders and with added accountability. You’ve probably already guessed, I’m going back to Weight Watchers. I’ve thought this in circles for weeks now… yes, no, yes, no…yes? In a sense, it’s a step back (or throw back for me), but I feel like I need those borders and accountability right now. I’ve been in contact with some vegan weight watchers to get their take on the program from a plant-based angle. I’m encouraged by what they’ve had to say. Not to mention, a friend asked me to come back with her, which I had planned to just show up for meetings in support of her anyway.

I hope this will mean I’m forgiving WW for the way they handled the program change at the end of 2010. I’m looking for other areas where I need to forgive, so I might as well start with WW lol. This will likely slow my weightloss, but I’m willing to accept that right now as a consequence… as long as it doesn’t stop.

I do believe in Dr. Fuhrman’s plan, especially if you are already sick and dealing with heart disease, diabetes, obesity…etc. In those situations I think you need to go quite strict to rapidly regain your health. And of course, you already know where I stand on eating animal products lol. I do believe that cutting those out has set healing mechanisms in motion for my body. I have also grown to love the sustainable aspect of eating plants. I’m hopeful that WW will only enhance the process.

So, that’s where I am on this journey. I’d prefer not to “need” anything… but I guess I’m not there. It will be quite humbling to walk through those doors at the meeting next week… but a little humility never hurt anyone… right?