WEEK 5 OVERVIEW
The fifth week was interesting. Some of my comfort eating impulses reared their ugly heads. I had a bit more rice and starchy veggies (and not enough greens) than I should have for the first few days of the week. Calorie-wise, I didn’t overeat by any means, but I wasn’t “technically” on plan. Out of guilt, I didn’t weigh for a few days because I didn’t want to see the scale go up (not even sure if it would have). One good thing about this though, I got some practice at changing my emotional thought patterns. I had to focus on turning those negative/destructive thoughts over to the Lord, and replacing them with Truth. As for the guilt, I refuse to beat myself up over this (it’s not like I gorged), and so I’m casting that aside as well. I’ve always been quite good at being hard on myself. In some ways, this can be good, but in others, it is quite destructive. I don’t want to be that person anymore. It’s not enough to stop the behavior, it must be replaced by something else. I’ve discovered that those negative behaviors served me in some way. I didn’t say they were beneficial services, just that I got something from them (a fix, escape…etc). If I don’t replace them with something that is beneficial and meets a similar need, they will return again and again.
Unfortunately, toxic hunger resurfaced with a vengeance on day 33. I wasn’t surprised by the scale’s reaction to the comfort eating, but I certainly wasn’t happy about it (see day 33 weigh in). I guess my only consolation was that I didn’t see a gain at least. Then we had a sudden death in the family, and some really heavy feelings took over. Grief is such a monster. I think much of the pain I feel is for my cousin’s parents. I’m sure that’s because I can relate to the pain of losing a child and I know how suffocating that grief can be. Of course, my heart breaks for her kids as well. Depression loomed. I still have that heavy feeling, but I’m really trying to turn it over to the Lord and trust that He can bring beauty from ashes. When I think of the pain my family is going through, it really makes the scale seem like such a silly thing to get upset about.
My intentional movement looked like this:
Day 29: 1.5 hours figure skating
Day 33: Zumba Class w/ 14 year old + teaching TKD class
Day 34: 40 min training walk/jog w/ the dog + pushups, jump rope, planks, situps, punching/blocking sets, kicking sets – circuit style @ home, and a little dancing with the 9 year old thrown in.
I didn’t exercise as much this week because the schedule was a bit different than normal, but also because I felt really bad (sick/depressed) later in the week.
I released a total of 1.6 pounds despite this emotional week (thank you, Lord!), with the break down, by day, looking like this:
Day 29: didn’t weigh
Day 30: didn’t weigh
Day 31: didn’t weigh
Day 32: didn’t weigh
Day 33: -0
Day 34: -0
Day 35: -1.6
After the day 34 weigh in, I seriously considered being done with this ETL challenge. This isn’t an easy way to eat (especially in social settings), and not seeing scale results was so discouraging. More on this in a future post…
SIX WEEK CHALLENGE TOTALS
For the first five weeks of the challenge, I’ve released 16.4 pounds. Next week I’ll measure again.
Onward to week 6!