My goodness, it’s like I’ve got PMS on steroids right now. I guess my body is doing a bit of a freak out hormonally. I do think this is PMS week, but my goodness, I’m not usually this much of a mess. Of course, it could be from media and scheduling detox too. Every January, our church does a fast for 3 weeks. Everyone chooses what they will fast from, and it has been our family tradition to eliminate television for that time period. Every year, I go through withdrawals. Yes, it may seem silly, but I do use the TV to unwind after the kids are in bed. I don’t typically turn it on during the day unless there is a national/local emergency situation (911… local fires…etc), so “day time” television isn’t a draw for me. It’s those evening hours when I just want to zone out and do nothing (including “think”). It’s actually been good to get my bod in bed earlier, especially since we resumed homeschooling this week. We require the kids get up at 5 AM, so we adults are getting up too. After the long Holiday break, where we didn’t rise till almost 9 AM most mornings, this is a shock to the system.
In addition to the dietary changes, and the television fasting, our family has altered our schedule dramatically this year. We’re running about far less, and trying to focus more on things that matter to us as a whole. So maybe I’m sleep, TV, junk food and “activity” deprived right now (with a little hormone action thrown in)?
My emotions are right at the surface. I’ve read that cleaning up what you take in (food, media…etc) can cause detox… but I wasn’t expecting it to feel this emotional. This is the first week that I’ve felt the activity withdrawals. I do miss seeing some people, but I feel like my home is more balanced than it was… even if my hormones aren’t right now. I’ll have to be on my guard not to fill up the seemingly empty space with the wrong stuff, but for now, I’m trying to relax and enjoy my family.They are precious, and only the Lord knows how long we have on this planet.
Good gosh, told you I was emotional. I’m sounding like the end is near. I’ve bawled a couple of times today for different reasons. Earlier the nine year old asked why I was crying. “Oh, I was just reading this story about a lady singing in a coffee shop.” She looked at me like “um, why is that sad?” Then she and I were making soup and I felt like crying (but didn’t). I just reached out and stroked her hair. She looked at me wondering why on earth I did that. I was just thinking how precious this time is with her… and as I type about it, good gracious, I’m crying again. Sniff, stupid hormones. Later, I talked with my sister (who had a baby today, by the way), and I cried after I hung up. Still not exactly sure why I cried over that. Maybe I’m just relieved that she and the baby are fine? I don’t know. Thankfully, the Lord doesn’t think I’m crazy. He just tells me to bring it to Him. I’m going to let it all out, people. God is peeling back layers and I think I’ll just let Him. I’m ready to go to a new level.
So, if you’re around me and I start crying, don’t worry, I’m just healing… and PMSing at the same time.