It’s impossible to read the Law of Moses and all of the sacrificial laws without seeing our guilt. I find myself so thankful for Christ’s ultimate sacrifice for my sin. I also find myself wondering why on earth the Israelites grumbled so much. I can’t imagine seeing the things they saw and still thinking, “oh, we should make a golden calf and worship it.” I can’t imagine thinking God wouldn’t take care of me if I’d witnessed His awesome power in Egypt, or parting of the sea, or how about that pillar of fire they were following. I mean if manna and quail fell from the sky, I think I might believe that God loved me and would protect me from harm.

I would love to see the things the Israelites did, but perhaps it impaired their faith. Perhaps, it fostered “seeing is believing”, when faith “is the substance of things not seen.” Maybe they even worshiped out of fear and not an understanding of just how much they need God… maybe they didn’t see just how much He loved them. I want to understand my need and His love, not so that I can be a “feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you [me] happy,” but rather so that I can rise to potential He placed within me from the beginning of my days.

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

I want “faith eyes” so that I can see the miracles he works day to day. I want to see His glory in the faces of my children. I want to see His mercy in the healing. I want to see His protection in the midst of the darkness. I want to see His love in the Sacrifice of His Son. I want to see His blessing in the embrace of my husband. I want to see! Show me, Lord! Give me “eyes to see and ears to hear”.

Are you looking to make some changes in 2013? Check out The Journey for more information.

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What I read: Leviticus 1-4

What I ate:

• Breakfast – 7 oranges juiced
• Lunch – Green Smoothie (6oz apple juice, 6oz coconut water, 2 bananas, 2oz Kale, 2 oz Spinach, 6 oz strawberries)
  
• Dinner – 4-5 slices of BBQ mushrooms, smoothie (8oz coconut water, 8 dates, 3 bananas, 2 stalks of celery)
  
• PM Snack – apple juice
  

What I did: 4 miles run/walk (mostly running) + pushups & situps

Here are the notes I made regarding my symptoms throughout Day 44:

• slowed digestion (gas, abdominal pain, bloating)
  
• headaches
  
• puffy hands, feet, and face
  
• sinus congestion
  
• dry/itchy eyes, skin, and scalp
  
• acne
  
• aching muscles and muscle spasms
  
• foggy brain
• irritability
  
• mood swings
  
• blood sugar fluctuations
  
• fatigue – still having bouts of fatigue, but not as bad
  
• unable to sleep well
  
• unquenchable thirst
  
• cravings
  
• chest pain
• cold sores – last one 1/13/2013
  
• kidney stones – eliminated when we went vegan Oct 2011
• tooth pain