365 Raw: Day 6 with “Job”

I woke up the morning of Day 6 feeling “OK”. I had some body aches, but my eyes weren’t heavy. My heart on the other hand… now that’s a different story.

It’s my son’s sixteenth birthday in Heaven. Need I say more? When I decided six days ago, to start reading through the Bible chronologically, I didn’t realize I’d be reading Job during what I now call “Bryan’s days”. Job was a book I turned to over and over again during those swirling black holes of grief. The very beginning of Job has a reference to a stillborn child that still stings when I read it. And then there’s Job, a man who didn’t deserve so much grief and heartache, but suffered it nonetheless. A man, so strong and yet also frail in his humanity. I can fully understand his cries, his questioning, his despair, and even his anger.

bibleThe interesting irony is that not long before Bryan passed, I had begun reading through my Bible. I even wrote the date at the end of each passage as I finished, so now, sixteen years later, those dates remind me of my final days before I knew what true grief was. Looking back, they were days of innocent expectation followed by gut wrenching sorrow.

And then there’s Christ, a man who didn’t deserve to die, and yet willingly carried our burden of sin to the cross.

I won’t pretend to understand God’s ways. I won’t pretend that I know His full plan. What I do know is that He does have a plan, one that is far greater than I can even fathom. So I reply to the Lord, like Job eventually does at the end of the book, “I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.” Even though Job goes on to repent his grieving statements, the Lord does not appear to blame him as he does Job’s friends. Yes, God is merciful, especially to the broken-hearted.

Were you touched by grief during 2012? My prayer is that God will comfort you in a way that only He can.

Are you looking to make some changes in 2013? Check out The Journey for more information.

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What I read: Job 10-13

What I ate:OJ6

  • Breakfast – Ten oranges juiced with electric citrus juicer
  • Lunch – 10 Bananas blended with 8oz of water – YUM!
  • Dinner – 1/2 large watermelon, 14 oz of romaine, 2 oz spinach, 1 cup of grape tomatoes, and 1 cup of golden tomatoes with fruity dressing (2 cuties, 1 cup of grapes, parsley, & cilantro blended together)
  • PM Snack – none, fell asleep

Here are the notes I made regarding my symptoms throughout Day 6:

  • slowed digestion (gas, abdominal pain, bloating) – Definitely thinking the gas is straw related.
  • headaches – none today
  • puffy hands, feet, and face (thank you, salt)
  • sinus congestion – very little
  • dry/itchy eyes, skin, and scalp
  • acne – clearing
  • aching muscles and muscle spasms – a little achy at first
  • foggy brain – clearing
  • irritability
  • mood swings – none
  • blood sugar fluctuations
  • fatigue, but unable to sleep well – slept much better, less fatigue during the day
  • unquenchable thirst (again, thank you, salt) – woke really thirsty again
  • cravings – none.
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