“moving without knowing”

Once again, I was met with the question: “To weigh, or not to weigh.” I have not stepped on a scale… any scale since I stopped dieting. Thoughts of the scale are much less frequent now, but last week I began to entertain the idea of “checking in”. Oh it would just be to see what’s going on, to prove that the running is working… right? WRONG! I’ve fallen for that trick far too many times. I don’t have to know what the scale says to know that I would not be happy with it. I don’t have to know that number to know that I would feel compelled to restrict calories and workout like a “Biggest Loser contestant”. Well, this time it wasn’t entirely about “checking in”, the angle the thoughts took were also “helping others”. Yeah, play on my soft-side. I guess since the other hadn’t worked to get me to step on it, why not try this?

“What if I’m losing weight? Wouldn’t it be great for other people to see that you don’t have to diet to do that? Of course, I would need numerical proof. I could just step on the scale once a month….”

This has played in my head over and over. I even started asking God about it, trying to explain to Him why it would be such a brilliant idea to weigh myself. Well, I got my answer – and it came from these quotes from these two songs (Yes, God can speak to you through song lyrics):

“Faith is moving without knowing. Can I trust what I can’t see, to reach my destiny? I want to take control, but I know better.” ~ Unbreakable by Fireflight

“You’re waiting for a sign, the fact is faith is blind.” ~ The Hunger by Fireflight

I don’t need to know what the scale is doing in order to exercise or choose foods that help me feel better. I bowed to that idol for years… “Oh mighty scale, please tell me how to feel about myself today.” Ugh!

I think I’d much rather ask God how I should feel about myself. This morning He told me to feel “loved” by Him. The scale usually dishes out condemnation. Hmm, condemnation or Love? I’ll take the Love, please!

“…Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn you and continued My faithfulness to you.” ~ Jeremiah 31:3b


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