Currently, I’m reading several devotionals centering around mental battles and victorious living. The enemy is out in usual form as a liar and accuser. Yesterday afternoon the house became so warm that I laid down in front a fan to cool off. I fell asleep. I intended to do my fifteen minutes of de-cluttering before the Husband arrived home (he was out of town all week). When I woke up, he was on his way from the airport and I had other priorities (like getting cleaned up for date night). The enemy kept beating me up with the thoughts of failure because I missed one day of de-cluttering. I didn’t quite finish all 2 liters of water yesterday either. And then this morning, I didn’t get up with the early alarm because my phone was downstairs. When the alarm sounded I didn’t think about it being my early alarm and I begged the Husband to run down and shut it off. So, when I woke up at 6:15, I felt a rush of guilt all over again (yes, 6:15 is still really early for me on a Saturday).
Even seeing a one pound drop on the scale turned into lies and accusations. I heard a voice saying I didn’t deserve it because I hadn’t stayed 100% on plan. All of this guilt finally sent me to my Breaking Free Day by Day devotional and ultimately prayer. I asked the Lord to help me let go of the guilt for not being perfect (I struggle with perfectionism in a bad way). Then I went downstairs where I had some grapefruit and herbal tea in the quiet. The kids were still asleep and the Husband was out for a run. A twinge of jealousy crept in for a moment over his ability run, but again I took that thought captive to Christ. My toe is still broken, but Lord willing I will run again… hopefully sometime in July.
Gradually I began to physically feel worse as the morning progressed. This wore me down, making me even more susceptible to negative thought processes. I was really struggling to grasp onto Truth. Then it happened. I pulled up my “task list” on my phone. I fully expected to see yesterday’s “de-clutter” assignment still on there marked as “overdue”. It wasn’t there. Yep, that’s right, I had done it after all. I did it yesterday morning after dropping the kids off at Tae Kwon Do camp because I knew I might not get to it later. So, part of what I was being beat up about wasn’t even remotely true!
I was finally able to give the accuser a swift kick to the curb. “MY GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD!! HE REIGNS FROM HEAVEN ABOVE!” (yes, I’m singing that in my head) Lastly, I’ll leave you with a glimpse into how our loving Father views us. Check out this darling video and tell me that you aren’t a promise with a capital P. Oh yes, I’m a bundle of potentiality. Enjoy!