I knew it had to happen at some point and it did. Week eight was just “one of those weeks”. The cravings for salty food were horrible. I gave in several times to natural tortilla chips and salsa. Once I even had vegan spring rolls, rice with veggies, and a vegan chocolate chip cookie (had spring rolls again last night despite getting sick from them). I’ve been praying about what could possibly be the cause of these cravings and I think I have a few possibilities:
- It’s cold. Like really cold and snowy. Raw food isn’t exactly warm. On Monday afternoon I was struggling to get and stay warm. I wanted warmer food.
- I’ve had a slight sore throat and felt really tired much of the week. I haven’t officially gotten sick but it definitely feels like my body is fighting against something. Well, what do you want when you’re sick? Chicken noodle soup (which is typically salty) and ginger ale (also loaded with sodium). I didn’t have either, but I wanted them.
- Didn’t get in my workouts early in the week (snow, snow & more snow… and we had a wonderful time with family in town). I’ve discovered that I absolutely do not like running on the treadmill in my basement, which was to be my back-up plan when it was too snowy outside.
- Crazy schedule throughout the week. Things have definitely picked up around here and I’m not sure I like it one bit. I was also rather stressed over my current writing assignment. I’m not really sure why except that it was of a personal nature and consumed a lot of my thought processes.
- Low calorie counts. I suspect that my calories have been dropping slowly over the last couple of weeks. When this happens, I typically end up really hungry and that always makes cravings worse. I’m considering tracking again for a bit to make sure I’m eating adequately.
- Possibly PMS week. I’ve made it past day 21 (barely). So far, no lovely monthly but she could still show early again… I’m hoping to make it to day 28.
- My sense of smell is soooo strong that the aroma of cooked food literally makes my mouth water. When the kids were having chili for lunch one day, I just wanted to taste it. It didn’t taste anywhere near as good as it smelled to me, so I spit it out.
- My fat intake was higher this week. I don’t like how I feel after eating overt fats. I should learn something from this.
With all of this going on, I didn’t weigh or measure on Friday. I know that I shouldn’t rely on my “feelings” but I was feeling really bloated, really swollen, and really heavy. No way did I want to step on that scale and see something that might trigger past behaviors (read: “eating disorder”). So, I’m placing that number in the Lord’s hands. At one time in my life (for years actually), I was a “weigh every day” kind of gal. The number would dictate my day. If it was what I wanted to see, I was happy, if not… grrrr. Today, I’m not nearly as affected by it; However, when I begin to feel weak and vulnerable, I immediately stop looking at the number and ask the Lord to get me past this. The enemy whispered all kinds of “you’re so fat” comments in my ear this week. I told him to “shut up” because “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I do not want to fall right back into that pit. Lord, please help me to walk in freedom!
Did I feel bad after eating cooked food? Every time, with the exception of a cooked carrot I plucked from the vegetable stock I made. I was even dry heaving into a trash can in my van the morning after eating that vegan cookie. I have no desire for a cookie. I didn’t even want that cookie. I just wanted to see if it tasted as good as I remembered. It was good, but not good enough for me to want another one.
I think I’m going to allow hot herbal tea in the coming week to see if this helps with my need for something warm during these winter months. I’d rather not track every morsel of food that I eat so I’m going to be in prayer about that. I would like for the Lord to teach me how to eat enough. I want to rely on Him, not a “tracker”.
So that was week eight. Not the best week but I’m ok with that. I’m prayerful that week nine will go much better.