Today’s message was one that has been on my mind a lot lately, the pastor just drove it home a little more.  Ever since the garden of Eden, man has been trying to “fix” himself.  Just look at the annual billion dollar “self-help” industry.  Even believers fall for this notion that we can somehow eradicate our bad habits and addictions with willpower and a little help from “the man upstairs”.  God has really tried to get this message through my thick skull for years.

Even though I’m going through this 30 day raw challenge, I must rely on God for the strength to make it through each day.  To me, this challenge is no different than a fast where I must turn to God constantly for strength and direction.  I’m learning just how often I tend to think about food during the day.  Doing a challenge like this is giving me ample opportunities to call on the name of Jesus and to take captive thoughts that would typically send me straight for the cookie jar (or ice cream bucket).  Food has been my “drug” of choice for years.  When I don’t want to think about the heavy stuff – I eat.  When I don’t feel like doing something I need to do – I eat.  It’s a distraction for me.

When those comfort foods aren’t an option I find myself faced with the very thing I often want to run from… myself.  I am forced to look my perfectionism (and my falling short) right in the eye and the only place to take it is to God.  I cannot fix myself, only God can do that.