Category Archives: Freedom

On the Raw Side: Week 8

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I knew it had to happen at some point and it did.  Week eight was just “one of those weeks”.  The cravings for salty food were horrible.  I gave in several times to natural tortilla chips and salsa.  Once I even had vegan spring rolls, rice with veggies, and a vegan chocolate chip cookie (had spring rolls again last night despite getting sick from them).  I’ve been praying about what could possibly be the cause of these cravings and I think I have a few possibilities:

  • It’s cold.  Like really cold and snowy.  Raw food isn’t exactly warm.  On Monday afternoon I was struggling to get and stay warm.  I wanted warmer food.
  • I’ve had a slight sore throat and felt really tired much of the week.  I haven’t officially gotten sick but it definitely feels like my body is fighting against something.  Well, what do you want when you’re sick?  Chicken noodle soup (which is typically salty) and ginger ale (also loaded with sodium).  I didn’t have either, but I wanted them.
  • Didn’t get in my workouts early in the week (snow, snow & more snow… and we had a wonderful time with family in town).  I’ve discovered that I absolutely do not like running on the treadmill in my basement, which was to be my back-up plan when it was too snowy outside.
  • Crazy schedule throughout the week.  Things have definitely picked up around here and I’m not sure I like it one bit.  I was also rather stressed over my current writing assignment.  I’m not really sure why except that it was of a personal nature and consumed a lot of my thought processes.
  • Low calorie counts.  I suspect that my calories have been dropping slowly over the last couple of weeks.  When this happens, I typically end up really hungry and that always makes cravings worse.  I’m considering tracking again for a bit to make sure I’m eating adequately.
  • Possibly PMS week.  I’ve made it past day 21 (barely).  So far, no lovely monthly but she could still show early again… I’m hoping to make it to day 28.
  • My sense of smell is soooo strong that the aroma of cooked food literally makes my mouth water.  When the kids were having chili for lunch one day, I just wanted to taste it.  It didn’t taste anywhere near as good as it smelled to me, so I spit it out.
  • My fat intake was higher this week.  I don’t like how I feel after eating overt fats.  I should learn something from this.

With all of this going on, I didn’t weigh or measure on Friday.  I know that I shouldn’t rely on my “feelings” but I was feeling really bloated, really swollen, and really heavy.  No way did I want to step on that scale and see something that might trigger past behaviors (read: “eating disorder”).  So, I’m placing that number in the Lord’s hands.  At one time in my life (for years actually), I was a “weigh every day” kind of gal.  The number would dictate my day.  If it was what I wanted to see, I was happy, if not… grrrr.  Today, I’m not nearly as affected by it;  However, when I begin to feel weak and vulnerable, I immediately stop looking at the number and ask the Lord to get me past this.  The enemy whispered all kinds of “you’re so fat” comments in my ear this week.  I told him to “shut up” because “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”  I do not want to fall right back into that pit.  Lord, please help me to walk in freedom!

Did I feel bad after eating cooked food?  Every time, with the exception of a cooked carrot I plucked from the vegetable stock I made.  I was even dry heaving into a trash can in my van the morning after eating that vegan cookie.  I have no desire for a cookie.  I didn’t even want that cookie.  I just wanted to see if it tasted as good as I remembered.  It was good, but not good enough for me to want another one.

I think I’m going to allow hot herbal tea in the coming week to see if this helps with my need for something warm during these winter months.  I’d rather not track every morsel of food that I eat so I’m going to be in prayer about that.  I would like for the Lord to teach me how to eat enough.  I want to rely on Him, not a “tracker”.

So that was week eight.  Not the best week but I’m ok with that.  I’m prayerful that week nine will go much better.

On the Raw Side: Week 7

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This week felt so much better than week six.  After seven weeks of raw and “no poo”, I feel “lighter”.  It’s like I have more “spring” in my step than usual.  Running is a joy.  I don’t think I’ve ever been able to say that about running before… and I’ve run off and on since I was twelve.  In the past, it would take me about two miles to warm up and settle in.  Now it’s about a quarter of a mile.  My breathing is easier to control while working out too.

What seems rather amazing to me lately is the lack of illness in this house.  This is not normal for this time of year.  We’ve usually had something go through the house by now.  In fact, since going vegan back in October the only thing we’ve seen is a 24 hour fever and only my nine year old was affected.  At that time, her friends were turning up with strep and stomach flu.  All she had was the fever.  I really believe a large factor is the change in diet.

I did more reading on detox this week.  Apparently it is normal for raw vegans to go through multiple stages of detox.  One lady I ready about took 8 months for her body to completely detox.  Wow.  It comes in waves, which is manageable.

As far as food cravings, I haven’t had any significant ones.  I did notice that the family’s pizza smelled incredible last night (remember, my sense of smell is heightened).  Each week I feel more and more like I’m adopting the mentality that “food is fuel” and not entertainment.  When I think about eating something besides raw food (which isn’t often), it occurs to me that I probably won’t feel well and that my workouts may suffer.  It just doesn’t seem worth it.

We went out to lunch with friends after church.  I told the Husband not to worry about me, that I could get something to eat when we got home.  I figured I could at least eat lettuce at the restaurant.  Well, the Husband was having none of that.  He stopped off at a convenience store on the way to the restaurant and got me some cut up melons, strawberries, and two bananas.  Yes, in Colorado they sell fruit in convenience stores.  Anyway, I shouldn’t be surprised by his loving support, but I was.  I felt so special.

This week the scale moved.  I lost two pounds for a seven week total of thirteen.  I also lost 1.1 inches for a grand total of thirteen so far.  I was able to get on another pair of my jeans.  They are tight but I can get them on.  I’ve got one more pair to go.  All three are the same size, but different fits.

After almost four months of vegan (7 weeks of that raw), I’m convinced that my body responds very well to this way of eating.  Not just on a physical level but mental and spiritual as well.  Looking forward to the next week!

Here’s Mud in Your Smoothie

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The other night I was all cozy in bed (super early) with the electric blanket cranked up.  Suddenly I realize that I’m hungry… hmm, what is a girl to do?  Fortunately, I have one of those husbands who recognizes that I’m all snug and cozy and volunteers to fix me a green smoothie.  He brings this gorgeous glass of pure energy to me.  I take a sip.  “So, what did you put in it?”  He starts rattling off a list of stuff while I take another sip.  “Did you wash the spinach?”  (cricket, cricket)

“What do you want to hear?” asks my darling man.

I knew the answer to the question before I even asked it because that last sip clearly had dirt in it.  Just a couple of days before, we purchased some spinach that looked like it was bundled in the mud.  I was only washing the leaves as I used them so the rest of the bunch was still dirty.  We use the question “what do you want to hear” a lot at our house.  The Husband loves this response because it’s guaranteed to get a smile out of me even if I want to say something like, “why on earth would you serve me muddy spinach!”  Of course, I use it too.  “Honey, did you remember to wash my running socks?”  Uh oh.

I wonder if Cain’s first response to God when asked about his brother’s whereabouts was actually something like, “What do you want to hear, God?”  Saying, “I’m not my brother’s keeper,” is basically the same thing though.  He’s trying to hide, to deflect, whatever he can do to avoid facing the truth.

“Saul, why do you persecute my people?”

“What do you want to hear, God?”

“Adam, Eve, why are you hiding?”

“What do you want to hear, God?”

“Jonah, how did you end up in the gut of that fish?”

“Um, what do you want to hear, God?”

Don’t think for a minute that God needs us to answer these questions so He will know the answers.  He already knows the answer… which is why we deflect the question.  Silly humans that we are.  We cannot hide from Him so why not confess and let the forgiveness pour over us?  If you’re wondering God’s response to the question, “What do you want to hear, God?”  It is simply, and in His most Fatherly, loving, compassionate, understanding, beautiful, comforting voice…

“The truth, Beloved.”

It still amazes me that He loves us even when we’re offering Him muddy-spinach lives.

But God shows and clearly proves His [own] love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died for us.  ~ Romans 5:8 (AB)

30 Days on the Raw Side: Final Summary

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The past thirty days have gone by faster than I thought they would.  I didn’t know what to expect when I began the challenge, so my goal was simply to finish.  With the Lord’s help, here we are, thirty days later.  There were ups and downs, but overall, the good outweighed the bad.  Some of my targets (water and calories) were rarely (if ever) reached, but I feel the project still proved that I could eat higher calories and lose weight.  Which brings me to the numbers:

In thirty days I dropped 10.4 pounds on the scale.  The tape measure showed a loss of 9.7 inches (chest, waist, hips, right thigh, right arm, right calf, right forearm).  Yes, that’s only measuring one side of my body, so it stands to reason that my left side reduced in size as well.

Here are my food stat daily averages:

Calories: 1842.2
Carbs: 89%
Protein: 5%
Fat:  6%
Fiber: 54 grams

I also did a fitness test at the start of the challenge, which I repeated today.  I did not do exercises specifically to help increase my results.  In hindsight, I shouldn’t have done the final test after a “long run” day.  My legs are still recovering from the spinning (intervals – ack) and running workouts, as was evidenced by all the shaking.  Even so, here are the results:

Resting heart-rate:  decreased 5.97% (decrease is good in this instance)
Vertical Leap:  increased .83%
Pushups:  increased 28.6%
Toe Touch:  increased 150%
Wall Squat:  decreased 11.5% (this was one of those that was affected by my tired legs)
Bicep curls:  increased 5.13%
In & Outs (crunch type things):  increased 53.6%
Heart-rate maximizer:  Ok, so this one is really difficult to judge.  The reason?  Because I think the first time I did the test I was sprawled out on the floor afterward while the kids took my heart-rate over a period of minutes (which brings it down rapidly).  Today I was sitting so it wasn’t falling as quickly.  I guess the key indicator is my peek heart-rate, which was 3.07% lower today.  So, I’m going to say that this has improved based on that fact.

As I’ve noted throughout the challenge, overall I am functioning better.  Sleep, cycles, digestion, skin, hair, nails, energy… they are all improved.  I have felt a bit of a lure to cooked food today.  My body knows the challenge is over; it knows the accountability of checking in daily is done.  Still, I kind of feel as though I might be trading the positive changes just for the sake of “eating” something that tastes different.  I am having difficulty sorting through those thoughts.  I feel like the broken places are being restored and rebuilt.  Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually as well.  It’s really difficult to explain.  I feel… “free”.  This doesn’t mean that I won’t eat cooked food (might eat dinner with my family tonight even), but right now, I’m planning on it being the exception and not the rule.

While this challenge has come to an end, my life as a mostly raw vegan is just beginning.  I greatly appreciate those who have followed along with me on this journey.  Knowing that you were reading kept me accountable on so many occasions.  May you seek God’s face in whatever He calls you to do and may He bless your efforts as a result.

progress, not perfection

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My seven year old came down stairs Sunday morning, her face beaming with pride.  I really wanted to ask her not to wear her Taekwondo jacket to church, but I didn’t because she loves it.  To her, it is her Sunday best.  Then I noticed the uneven pig tails sticking out from her head on either side just above her ears.  Her precious grin seemed to stretch from one pigtail to the other.  I knew in that moment that her “up do” was the reason for the smile.  “Who fixed your hair?”  I admired the work.

“I did,” she said confidently.

“Wow, you did a really great job.”  The Husband, who was standing behind our youngest, gave me a wide-eyed look that said, “are we looking at the same hair?”  When she went back upstairs to retrieve her Bible, he asked if I was going to at least straighten it up a bit.  I told him I wasn’t.  I would have loved to capture the look on his face, utter shock.  I consider myself a recovering perfectionist, which makes his reaction all the more justifiable.  However, in that moment, I was able to make some progress in dealing with perfectionism; while, at the same time, allowing my daughter to enjoy the progress she’s made with styling her own hair.

During the worship part of the service, my darling little girl stood in front of me, singing to Jesus at the top of her lungs.  This provided me a prime view of her workmanship.  Occasionally, she would reach up to each pigtail and tug it tighter because the rubber-bands were slightly loose and kept slipping.  My heart warmed and then I became suddenly aware that God looks at me the same way.  Only, He’s looking at my heart.  He sees the progress being made, and while I may still be quite the mess in my Sunday best, He rejoices with me in the progressive victories.

30 Days on the Raw Side: Week 2 Summary

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The second week seemed easier than the first.  I think it’s becoming habit to reach for fruit and most of the time I don’t even consider cooked food an option.  I never dreamed that fruit could taste this good.  I find myself getting excited when I bite into a crunchy, juicy, sweet apple.  It’s like dessert to me.  I’m getting more adventurous about trying new raw foods but I am not willing to force feed myself anything that I don’t like (been there, done that for years on every diet imaginable).  I’m even considering making the switch indefinitely at the end of these 30 days.  Yes, that’s how good I feel eating this way.

I’m still amazed at the post-workout recovery time.  If I’m sore at all, it’s very minor and doesn’t last long at all.  During the workouts I don’t get burning in my muscles, they just get tired.  The benefit of this is being able to push further because I’m not hurting.  Probably even more amazing is how well my foot is doing.  I’ve been dealing with Plantar fasciitis for a few months now.  I think it is almost completely healed.  I still have some discomfort at the end of the day and in the mornings when I wake, but there have been days when I couldn’t walk on it at all, so this is a vast improvement.

I have allergies and, although they have significantly improved since moving to Colorado, I would still have some congestion/pressure from time to time.  I noticed this week that I rarely breathe through my mouth now, it’s all through the nose.  This is especially true when I sleep.  Another thing to note, someone in my family (if not several someones) is usually sick between Thanksgiving and New Years.  Not this year.  Everyone is quite well.

Most of the day I am bright-eyed.  I no longer have that “afternoon crash” feeling.  It seems like I have more of a “glad heart” about doing household stuff that I typically put off.  It’s amazing what a bit of energy will do for your work ethic.

I did have a moody outburst this week.  The “be ugly” monster was after me in more ways than one so it was certainly a valid (although still sinful) response.  Now that I know this was PMS week, it makes even more sense.  I’m so glad I cast that on the Lord, it was all just too much at once.  As of this morning, day 28 of my cycle, it is behaving normally (girls, you know what that means).   I did notice very minor breakouts on my face yesterday but nothing compared to what I usually have just before the period shows up.  I can tell that I’m a little bloated this morning, which makes today’s numbers all the more significant to me.  Cramps are here.  I have no idea what I can do about that (time for a google search).  Advil is usually my companion during this time but… that’s not raw or natural.

Now for the numbers. This week, I lost 2.6 pounds and 2.9 inches off my chest, waist, hips, right thigh and right upper arm (yes, my arm shrunk a little!).  Almost an inch of that was just off my waist.  So, for the first two weeks of this challenge I’ve lost 7.4 pounds and 6.6 inches.  My averages were very close to last week.  I was hoping for a higher calorie count but maybe I can take that up a notch for week three.

Calories: 1,828.8
Carbs: 88.3%
Protein: 5.1%
Fat: 6.6%
Fiber: 56.4 g

This next week will be more of a challenge as we will no longer be on our holiday schedule.  Early, early mornings, lessons and some activities will resume.  I’ll have to plan ahead a little bit more.  “With God I will gain the victory!”

I can’t believe it’s been two weeks already!  Thank you, Lord for the strength to press on toward the prize :)   And thank you to those who are following along on this journey.  You guys keep me accountable when no one is watching.

A Christmas Message

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Those who know me really well know that I just love Beth Moore.  I’m not a groupie but rather I see her as a big sister who longs to teach me (and our other sisters) about our Father’s incomparable love, power and freedom.  Today I find myself so excited by the Christmas Eve entry in her book, Breaking Free: Day by Day.

“In this way they plundered the Egyptians.”  ~ Exodus 12:36

When God’s people were set free, He allowed them to escape with more than they had.  We’ve all heard the saying, “That which does not kill us only makes us stronger.”  Well, that’s plundering.  Beth says, “Don’t just reclaim the ground you’ve surrendered.”  I think so often that’s all we want when we’re trying to lose weight.  We’re just trying to get back to some weight or some size and that will be enough.  No, that’s not enough!  If we don’t walk away from captivity stronger in faith, in spirit, in body, in mind… then guess where we will end up before we know it?  Yep, right back in bondage.  That’s scriptural in fact!  The enemy doesn’t want you to break free (and stay free) from his strongholds.  So he returns with a vengeance and if all you’ve gained is a better looking you… well, you probably won’t be free for very long.  Sometimes I think he doesn’t get as mad when you break away because he knows, more than likely, he’ll get you back.  He knows that most believers don’t exercise their faith and I wonder if it’s more satisfying to drag one, once free, right back into slavery.

You may be wondering why on earth I titled this a Christmas Message.  It’s because freedom was made possible by that child the shepherds found lying in a manger.  He gave us the greatest gift, Salvation, and along with that gift came access to the power of God.  However, that isn’t to lift us up because it is in our weakness that He is strong.  If we want to break free… and stay free, we have to let Him rescue us from the pit and fully rely on Him to keep us out of it.  We must take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

So, yes, by all means, escape, but plunder the enemy on the way out.

“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.” ~ Luke 2:11