Category Archives: Brick Removed

cooked food coma

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I started out last week tracking my calories. Initially I thought I would be high raw but as the week wore on, and life’s stress piled up, I gave into emotional eating. I knew full well what I was doing too. It just seemed the fiery arrows were more numerous than usual. The more cooked food I ate, the more I craved it. The more I craved it, the worse I felt. It was like a cooked food coma hung onto me. Yes, I was still vegan. Yes, that’s better than eating SAD (Standard American Diet). And yes, I realize how crazy this must sound to anyone who has never been on a High Fruit Raw Vegan diet and even crazier to those on SAD. Obviously, when I eat vegan, I feel better than when I ate SAD, but once you’ve experienced what HFRV is like… everything else just feels like sub-par. Some people think this is all mental, but it’s not. Sure, your outlook plays a role, but I’m talking about physical well-being.

For example, I’ve slowly (like really slowly) been working toward a faster running pace. This has been difficult since the concussion last fall. Running was far more painstaking and I was even dreading it (would even skip runs because of the dread). Then I went HFRV for about seven weeks straight. I have never… did you read that?  I have never had that much energy in my life. Running became fun and my mile averages were getting better each time. I would actually have to reign in my ridiculous grinning during cycling class because I didn’t want people to think I was crazy. I would catch myself almost laughing because I couldn’t believe I was working so hard and not feeling wiped out. I would leave class with a spring in my step. Well, Monday was quite a different story despite my being optimistic about the run beforehand. Last week I noticed that my running pace was the same. It had been steadily increasing. Then on Monday, despite my positive mental state, it decreased. I had to fight so much for the time I got. After a few days with this on my mind, I decided I was going back to HFRV this morning.

Well, I woke up with a fever, chills, and nausea. There was no way this was a coincidence. It was another fiery arrow… except this one made me angry. I don’t like forced rest days one bit, so I used this one to my advantage.  I rested, read HFRV, drank more water, and ate raw. I felt terrible and wanted “comfort” food much of the day, but I continued to eat raw. My calories (2,150.2) turned out lower than I would like them to be, but I feel this was a good effort for a sick day.

Most people have no idea that they are walking around in a cooked food coma. It’s normal for them like it was normal for me.

Calories: 2,150.2
Carbs: 91.6%
Protein: 5.9%
Fat: 2.4%
Fiber: 61.7 grams
Exercise: None

Accountable Again (AA)

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I did not plan that title.  When I typed it in and saw the capital A’s, I just had to use it.

Hi, my name is J. and I’m a recovering anorexic/bulimic (without the puking).

People usually associate bulimia with purging, but not all bulimics induce vomiting. I would punish myself by not eating. Of course, eventually you become hungry enough to devour a biggie size of anything… plus every other plate at the table too. Enter guilt and bloating (which helps to convince you that you have gained ten pounds in one sitting), and you know what happens next.  Yep, repeat the cycle again starting with “I’m so fat” (even if you aren’t) and starvation. I don’t fall prey to this very often anymore (praise the Lord God Almighty!), but I do see glimpses from time to time when I lose the proper focus. Which is what brings me to the true point of this post.

I posted on Wednesday about the lack of trust I have with food when I don’t track what I eat. I despise tracking my food for several reasons. I think one of them is admitting that I need help. Because of this, I must rely on God for the discipline to write down what I put in my mouth. Don’t you just love that word, “discipline”? I don’t either. Today I resumed the discipline of tracking my food.  I have not smiled much as a result.  It’s a good thing the Husband volunteered to make me lunch when I got home from my indoor cycling class. Tired and hungry, I was poised to stay “to heck” with this tracking thing (which I would regret come morning).  He made me a delicious, raw Tortilla Soup*. Crisis averted! Making it through that moment has helped me finish out the day with a little better perspective.  I’ll talk about that tomorrow though.

I’m taking things a step further than tracking, I’m also going “Accountable Again”. No, I don’t plan to list out every bite with photos (like my RAW challenge). Let’s face it, I already have to type it once into my tracker and I’m not thrilled about doing that. What I will post are my daily calorie/percentage totals. This is purely to hold me accountable to tracking. I’m not out to prove anything and won’t step on the scale for now.

*We altered the Tortilla Soup recipe by eliminating the cheese and using a whole avocado instead of 1/4. We also use our own “taco seasoning” mix instead of the packaged stuff. Because the soup doesn’t get hot enough to kill the good stuff, it’s still raw… unless you throw in those tortilla chips :)

Today’s Numbers

Calories: 1948.6
Carbohydrates: 80.8%
Protein: 5.9%
Fat: 13.3% (can we say “avocado”?)
Fiber: 59.3 grams
Approximate Exercise Burn: -549 calories
RAW: 94.7%

Returning to Raw

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It’s been almost three weeks since wandering away from my RAW lifestyle.  I say “wandering” because it wasn’t a total abandonment.  I still averaged around 50% of my calories from raw food.  Even though I had cooked food, we remained vegan.  So, I definitely wasn’t eating the Standard American Diet (SAD).

Gradually, symptoms crept back.  Things like twitching in my left eye-lid (just noticed this today), mild chest pain, bloating, unfriendly digestion with all the yucky side effects, fingernail breakage, lower energy levels, cravings, aching joints, mild acne, sinus pressure, mood swings, and headaches.  These are some of the symptoms that drove me to try eating raw, plant-based foods in the first place.

I did learn something while eating cooked food.  I learned that most of the time, the cooked food didn’t taste nearly as wonderful as it smelled.  There were many times when I would take a bite of something simply because it smelled incredible, only to end up spitting it out in the trash because the taste wasn’t worth it.  Unfortunately, that didn’t last long and the last couple of days I noticed a shift.  My sense of smell gradually decreased, but my cravings for higher fat, salty food increased even more.  One afternoon I sat down and ate an entire container of grape tomatoes.  No, not bad for you, but that’s how much I wanted salt.  You may be thinking, “Really? Grape tomatoes are salty to you?”  When you eat primarily fruit, heck yes, they taste salty!

I should be ecstatic that my massive sugar cravings haven’t returned; However, I am aware that they would find me again eventually.  And so, as of today, I am back to high fruit, raw vegan.  I’ve had a couple of green smoothies and a few pieces of fruit so far today.  If I said I feel amazing already, I’d be lying through my smoothie straw.  Truthfully, all I can think about is taking a nap.  Perhaps I should.  My eyes aren’t going to stay open too much longer whether I want them to or not.

On the Raw Side: Week 8

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I knew it had to happen at some point and it did.  Week eight was just “one of those weeks”.  The cravings for salty food were horrible.  I gave in several times to natural tortilla chips and salsa.  Once I even had vegan spring rolls, rice with veggies, and a vegan chocolate chip cookie (had spring rolls again last night despite getting sick from them).  I’ve been praying about what could possibly be the cause of these cravings and I think I have a few possibilities:

  • It’s cold.  Like really cold and snowy.  Raw food isn’t exactly warm.  On Monday afternoon I was struggling to get and stay warm.  I wanted warmer food.
  • I’ve had a slight sore throat and felt really tired much of the week.  I haven’t officially gotten sick but it definitely feels like my body is fighting against something.  Well, what do you want when you’re sick?  Chicken noodle soup (which is typically salty) and ginger ale (also loaded with sodium).  I didn’t have either, but I wanted them.
  • Didn’t get in my workouts early in the week (snow, snow & more snow… and we had a wonderful time with family in town).  I’ve discovered that I absolutely do not like running on the treadmill in my basement, which was to be my back-up plan when it was too snowy outside.
  • Crazy schedule throughout the week.  Things have definitely picked up around here and I’m not sure I like it one bit.  I was also rather stressed over my current writing assignment.  I’m not really sure why except that it was of a personal nature and consumed a lot of my thought processes.
  • Low calorie counts.  I suspect that my calories have been dropping slowly over the last couple of weeks.  When this happens, I typically end up really hungry and that always makes cravings worse.  I’m considering tracking again for a bit to make sure I’m eating adequately.
  • Possibly PMS week.  I’ve made it past day 21 (barely).  So far, no lovely monthly but she could still show early again… I’m hoping to make it to day 28.
  • My sense of smell is soooo strong that the aroma of cooked food literally makes my mouth water.  When the kids were having chili for lunch one day, I just wanted to taste it.  It didn’t taste anywhere near as good as it smelled to me, so I spit it out.
  • My fat intake was higher this week.  I don’t like how I feel after eating overt fats.  I should learn something from this.

With all of this going on, I didn’t weigh or measure on Friday.  I know that I shouldn’t rely on my “feelings” but I was feeling really bloated, really swollen, and really heavy.  No way did I want to step on that scale and see something that might trigger past behaviors (read: “eating disorder”).  So, I’m placing that number in the Lord’s hands.  At one time in my life (for years actually), I was a “weigh every day” kind of gal.  The number would dictate my day.  If it was what I wanted to see, I was happy, if not… grrrr.  Today, I’m not nearly as affected by it;  However, when I begin to feel weak and vulnerable, I immediately stop looking at the number and ask the Lord to get me past this.  The enemy whispered all kinds of “you’re so fat” comments in my ear this week.  I told him to “shut up” because “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”  I do not want to fall right back into that pit.  Lord, please help me to walk in freedom!

Did I feel bad after eating cooked food?  Every time, with the exception of a cooked carrot I plucked from the vegetable stock I made.  I was even dry heaving into a trash can in my van the morning after eating that vegan cookie.  I have no desire for a cookie.  I didn’t even want that cookie.  I just wanted to see if it tasted as good as I remembered.  It was good, but not good enough for me to want another one.

I think I’m going to allow hot herbal tea in the coming week to see if this helps with my need for something warm during these winter months.  I’d rather not track every morsel of food that I eat so I’m going to be in prayer about that.  I would like for the Lord to teach me how to eat enough.  I want to rely on Him, not a “tracker”.

So that was week eight.  Not the best week but I’m ok with that.  I’m prayerful that week nine will go much better.

On the Raw Side: Week 7

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This week felt so much better than week six.  After seven weeks of raw and “no poo”, I feel “lighter”.  It’s like I have more “spring” in my step than usual.  Running is a joy.  I don’t think I’ve ever been able to say that about running before… and I’ve run off and on since I was twelve.  In the past, it would take me about two miles to warm up and settle in.  Now it’s about a quarter of a mile.  My breathing is easier to control while working out too.

What seems rather amazing to me lately is the lack of illness in this house.  This is not normal for this time of year.  We’ve usually had something go through the house by now.  In fact, since going vegan back in October the only thing we’ve seen is a 24 hour fever and only my nine year old was affected.  At that time, her friends were turning up with strep and stomach flu.  All she had was the fever.  I really believe a large factor is the change in diet.

I did more reading on detox this week.  Apparently it is normal for raw vegans to go through multiple stages of detox.  One lady I ready about took 8 months for her body to completely detox.  Wow.  It comes in waves, which is manageable.

As far as food cravings, I haven’t had any significant ones.  I did notice that the family’s pizza smelled incredible last night (remember, my sense of smell is heightened).  Each week I feel more and more like I’m adopting the mentality that “food is fuel” and not entertainment.  When I think about eating something besides raw food (which isn’t often), it occurs to me that I probably won’t feel well and that my workouts may suffer.  It just doesn’t seem worth it.

We went out to lunch with friends after church.  I told the Husband not to worry about me, that I could get something to eat when we got home.  I figured I could at least eat lettuce at the restaurant.  Well, the Husband was having none of that.  He stopped off at a convenience store on the way to the restaurant and got me some cut up melons, strawberries, and two bananas.  Yes, in Colorado they sell fruit in convenience stores.  Anyway, I shouldn’t be surprised by his loving support, but I was.  I felt so special.

This week the scale moved.  I lost two pounds for a seven week total of thirteen.  I also lost 1.1 inches for a grand total of thirteen so far.  I was able to get on another pair of my jeans.  They are tight but I can get them on.  I’ve got one more pair to go.  All three are the same size, but different fits.

After almost four months of vegan (7 weeks of that raw), I’m convinced that my body responds very well to this way of eating.  Not just on a physical level but mental and spiritual as well.  Looking forward to the next week!

On the Raw Side: Week 5

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After blogging for thirty days straight, I needed a break from that little blinking cursor.

I thought I would try some cooked food after the first thirty days, but I haven’t yet.  I am considering some vegan spring rolls for dinner tonight though.  My main concern is that I will regret eating them.  At the same time, I’m curious to see if they still taste as good as I remember.

I haven’t tracked my food since ending the challenge.  I’m basically eating the same things but have increased the fats slightly (nuts).  I still don’t eat any more than 1 oz per day but I have had them more often.  I did take one Advil this week.  One of those pomegranate seeds became a weapon in my gums.  I was shocked by how painful it was.  I couldn’t concentrate on anything except that so I took an Advil.  It seemed to take affect almost instantly but it also wore off really fast.  Clearly things aren’t staying in my system as long as before.

I got my first “no poo” hair compliment on Wednesday.  Of course, I didn’t tell her that I haven’t washed my hair in five weeks.

My week five numbers and my 30 day numbers overlap a bit.  I did lose 2.4 lbs since last Friday, for a grand total of 11 pounds in five weeks.  I also lost another 1.4 inches since Friday, bringing my five week total to 10.7 inches (chest, waist, hips, right thigh, right arm, right calf, right forearm).

Sticking with eating raw was rather difficult this week.  My brain kept trying to talk me into eating other stuff.  Hopefully this is just a phase.

Well, on to week six!

30 Days on the Raw Side: Final Summary

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The past thirty days have gone by faster than I thought they would.  I didn’t know what to expect when I began the challenge, so my goal was simply to finish.  With the Lord’s help, here we are, thirty days later.  There were ups and downs, but overall, the good outweighed the bad.  Some of my targets (water and calories) were rarely (if ever) reached, but I feel the project still proved that I could eat higher calories and lose weight.  Which brings me to the numbers:

In thirty days I dropped 10.4 pounds on the scale.  The tape measure showed a loss of 9.7 inches (chest, waist, hips, right thigh, right arm, right calf, right forearm).  Yes, that’s only measuring one side of my body, so it stands to reason that my left side reduced in size as well.

Here are my food stat daily averages:

Calories: 1842.2
Carbs: 89%
Protein: 5%
Fat:  6%
Fiber: 54 grams

I also did a fitness test at the start of the challenge, which I repeated today.  I did not do exercises specifically to help increase my results.  In hindsight, I shouldn’t have done the final test after a “long run” day.  My legs are still recovering from the spinning (intervals – ack) and running workouts, as was evidenced by all the shaking.  Even so, here are the results:

Resting heart-rate:  decreased 5.97% (decrease is good in this instance)
Vertical Leap:  increased .83%
Pushups:  increased 28.6%
Toe Touch:  increased 150%
Wall Squat:  decreased 11.5% (this was one of those that was affected by my tired legs)
Bicep curls:  increased 5.13%
In & Outs (crunch type things):  increased 53.6%
Heart-rate maximizer:  Ok, so this one is really difficult to judge.  The reason?  Because I think the first time I did the test I was sprawled out on the floor afterward while the kids took my heart-rate over a period of minutes (which brings it down rapidly).  Today I was sitting so it wasn’t falling as quickly.  I guess the key indicator is my peek heart-rate, which was 3.07% lower today.  So, I’m going to say that this has improved based on that fact.

As I’ve noted throughout the challenge, overall I am functioning better.  Sleep, cycles, digestion, skin, hair, nails, energy… they are all improved.  I have felt a bit of a lure to cooked food today.  My body knows the challenge is over; it knows the accountability of checking in daily is done.  Still, I kind of feel as though I might be trading the positive changes just for the sake of “eating” something that tastes different.  I am having difficulty sorting through those thoughts.  I feel like the broken places are being restored and rebuilt.  Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually as well.  It’s really difficult to explain.  I feel… “free”.  This doesn’t mean that I won’t eat cooked food (might eat dinner with my family tonight even), but right now, I’m planning on it being the exception and not the rule.

While this challenge has come to an end, my life as a mostly raw vegan is just beginning.  I greatly appreciate those who have followed along with me on this journey.  Knowing that you were reading kept me accountable on so many occasions.  May you seek God’s face in whatever He calls you to do and may He bless your efforts as a result.

30 Days on the Raw Side: Day 30

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This was day thirty of my raw food challenge.   I got about 9.5 hours of sleep last night.

The Food

  • Breakfast – Green Smoothie (12.5 oz Bananas, 7.5 oz Berries, 3/4 cup Apple Juice, 3/4 cup Coconut Water, 3.25 oz Kale, 1 oz Spinach)
  • Morning Snack – 1 Banana
  • Lunch – Ate @ whole foods…. dried mango, dried apples, .58 lbs strawberries, raspberries, blackberries & pineapple, 1 serving RAW coconut water.
  • Afternoon Snack – Was out shopping for fabric, skipped this meal
  • Dinner -  Green Smoothie (12.25 oz Bananas, 8 oz Berries, 3/4 cup Apple Juice, 3/4 cup Coconut Water, 4.5 oz Kale)
  • Evening Snack – 12 oz Apple Juice
  • Water – 50 ounces
  • Calories – 1,700.4 (Carbs 91.3% / Protein 5.5% / Fat 3.2%)
  • Fiber – 46.5 grams!

The Exercise:

  • 3 minute warm-up walk followed by a 41 minute run.

The Results:

  • So far, I’ve lost 8 lbs and 7.5 inches.  For more information, check out my Week 3 Summary.  Tomorrow I will post an end of challenge summary.

The Effects:

  • Today was a busy day.  I’ve got to make a skating dress for my daughter by next weekend so we ran errands today to get supplies.  I wasn’t in the mood to workout but I told myself that I would be glad that I did.  I was right.  It felt really good to hit the trail… well, until the sun vanished behind the mountains and the wind picked up.  Fortunately, the Husband was able to pick me up at the trail head so I wouldn’t have to walk home in the cold.
  • Yes, it’s the last day of this challenge.  I contemplated “going out with a bang”; but, since I plan to continue, I didn’t want this to feel temporary.  So, business as usual with my last meal of the challenge being a green smoothie.  This is rather fitting I guess since I began the challenge with one.
  • I’ve got another busy day tomorrow, but I should be able to do my fitness test and post my numbers.
  • I do have pictures for today but WordPress doesn’t seem to want me to upload them.  I’ll try again tomorrow.  For now, it’s late, I’m going to bed.

Final Summary>>

30 Days on the Raw Side: Day 29

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This was day twenty-nine of my raw food challenge.   I got about 7.5 hours of sleep last night.  I didn’t seem to like the alarm going off this morning.  I think it startled me awake.

The Food

  • Breakfast – Green Smoothie (9.25 oz Bananas, 7 oz Berries, 3/4 cup Apple Juice, 3/4 cup Coconut Water, 2.5 oz Kale, 2 oz Spinach)
  • Morning Snack – 1 Apple, 1 small Banana
  • Lunch – 8.75 oz Bananas, 4.5 oz Strawberries, 1.5 oz Kiwi, 3 Clementines, 1 oz Clover & Onion Sprouts, 1 Medjool Date
  • Afternoon Snack – 1 oz Cashews, 1 Orange, 1/2 Fig
  • Dinner -  Green Smoothie (11.5 oz Bananas, 7.5 oz Berries, 3/4 cup Apple Juice, 3/4 cup Coconut Water, 2.5 oz Kale, 2 oz Spinach)
  • Evening Snack – I don’t know yet.
  • Water – 50 ounces
  • Calories – 1,936.1 (Carbs 86% / Protein 5.9% / Fat 8.1%)
  • Fiber – 59.9 grams!

The Exercise:

  • One hour indoor cycling class.

The Results:

  • As of Friday I’ve lost 8 lbs and 7.5 inches.  For more information, check out my Week 3 Summary.  Although it’s been 4 weeks now, I’m going to do my final numbers of the challenge the morning after day 30 is complete.

The Effects:

  • I have mixed feelings ending this challenge.  Some relief and some panic.
  • The higher calories make a difference.  I have more energy the day after a higher calorie day.  I’m slacked even more on water lately.  I’m not really even sure why.
  •  I’ve noticed some… for lack of a better term… increased mental clarity.  And then there are the strange things like being in a restaurant, seeing the manager walk out of the back, having his name pop into my head (I had never seen the man before) and then reading his name tag to see if it was indeed his name… which it was.  I seem to have a whole lot less “white noise” in my head.
  • Other things that have increased in sensitivity are hearing, smell and taste.  The bad part of this is loud noises are louder, stink is smellier, and… you get the idea.

Go to Day 30>>

30 Days on the Raw Side: Day 28

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This was day twenty-eight of my raw food challenge… seriously?   It’s been four weeks and I only have two days left?  I got about 7.5 hours of sleep last night.  I did sleep better, although who would want to get out of bed on such a cold morning?  Not me!

       

The Food

  • Breakfast – Green Smoothie (8.5 oz Bananas, 5.5 oz Berries, 3/4 cup Apple Juice, 3/4 cup Coconut Water, 2.25 oz Kale, 1.5 oz Spinach)
  • Morning Snack – 1 Banana, 8 oz Apple Juice
  • Lunch – 2 Bananas, 4 Strawberries, 1.5 oz Kiwi, 1 large Orange
  • Afternoon Snack – 1 Banana, 1 Apple
  • Dinner -  1/2 oz Spinach, 6.5 oz Banana, 1.75 oz Strawberries, 2 Clementines, 1 Medjool Date and a spritz of lemon juice.
  • Evening Snack – 8 oz Apple Juice, 1.25 servings dried Pineapple rings
  • Water – 35 ounces
  • Calories – 1,655.9 (Carbs 93.3% / Protein 4.3% / Fat 2.4%)
  • Fiber – 44.9 grams!

The Exercise:

  • One hour TaeKwonDo class.

The Results:

  • As of Friday I’ve lost 8 lbs and 7.5 inches.  For more information, check out my Week 3 Summary.  Although it’s been 4 weeks now, I’m going to do my final numbers of the challenge the morning after day 30 is complete.

The Effects:

  • Wow, my brain knows this challenge is coming to a close.  My thoughts have started jumping to cooked food suddenly, like somehow my brain has been conspiring, “she’ll get over this and we’ll be back to normal in 30 days”.  I can’t just ignore the positive changes though.  If I only get normal cycles out of this, it is worth it.  I believe I’ll have more and more benefits as things go along.  I do wonder if cooked food would make me sick at this point.  I also wonder if it tastes as good as I remember or as good as it smells.  And yet, clearly, something I was eating wasn’t working for me.  Can you see the back and forth pull?  I can.
  • I am really, really, really looking forward to NOT tracking every ounce of food that I eat.
  • I scored big at the grocery store today.  Ripe bananas with the red tape (meaning discounted!) are the first thing I look for in the produce section EVERY time I go to the store…. yes, whether I need bananas or not.  It’s funny how every cashier seems to comment on the bananas.  “Wow, that’s a lot of bananas.”  “Are you making Banana Bread?”  “What do you do with all those bananas.”  “Got some monkeys at your house?”  Today I told the girl that I eat about five a day and she looked at me in shock.  No words, just staring.  Awesome.  Of course, I have four kids who eat them too.
  • My cart was really heavy.  I’m struggling to push it down the aisle and this man looks at my cart to see what’s in it.  The surprise registered on his face when he saw that almost three fourths of it was filled with fresh fruits and veggies (with the kid carrier part full of bananas).  The rest was stuff for those cooked vegan people I told you I live with ;)   Pasta sauce, rice noodles, tortillas, quinoa, beans, salsa… etc.  All he says is, “wow”, as he pushes his basket past me.

Go to Day 29>>