If you say “raw raw raw” really fast you start sounding like a pack of chanting cheerleaders. Since my post, to thrive or not to thrive, I’ve thought a lot about the low-fat, raw-vegan diet… and I do mean a lot. I’ve read many websites and watched countless YouTube videos on the topic. I finally broke down and bought some books. Most of the ones I found didn’t have a Kindle version, so I had to wait for those to arrive via Amazon’s “super saver shipping”. One book that did have a Kindle version was Robert Morse’s, The Detox Miracle Sourcebook.

I’ve watched several of Morse’s videos and he offers most of the information in his book for free on his YouTube channel. To me, the book was most helpful in regard to the detailed information on the functions of the human body. I’m not sure what religion he practices, but he sounded a bit “inner peace” and “new age-y” to me, he even mentions reincarnation in one of his videos (although he could have been joking). I have no doubt that, in general, his heart is in the right place. It is quite clear that he desires to help others, but I find it difficult to read his recommendations on the “ideal diet”, when it appears that he doesn’t live by it himself. That being said, I did find his book educational. The most profound part for me was the explanation of the lymphatic system (which you can watch on his YouTube channel). I already knew about acidic and alkaline ramifications, but that would be something important to know for those who haven’t heard of it before.

The two books I was waiting for via snail mail arrived a few days ago. I dove right into one of them because its basic philosophy is what I based my first raw challenge on. I’ve watched many videos about Doug Graham’s 80/10/10 diet. The first video I watched with him in it was one where he performed “superman” pushups (the video is now blocked for some reason). I called the Husband in to see it – unbelievable. Clearly he practices what he preaches. It is one nutrition plan where the testimonials of people actually doing it are undeniably remarkable. Sure, people lose weight but the ailments and diseases they recover from by eating this way are astounding. It’s further proof to me that God is more incredible than we could ever comprehend. We are truly fearfully and wonderfully made.

I ordered Graham’s book, The 80/10/10 Diet, to see if I was missing anything in my attempts to go (and stay) low-fat, raw vegan. I did come across a few things I should change. Overall, I found the book informative and helpful in clearing up some questions I had. The book also further confirmed that this is something I really want to do. Graham even includes some seasonal “menus” for those needing further help (and maybe a bit of variety) in their meal planning. Since I’ve struggled with staying raw, I think this part grabbed my attention the most:

“Learning how to eat a raw food diet properly takes time, patience, and yes, effort. Although I provide a blueprint for doing it healthfully, most people find it challenging to adopt the raw diet 100% the first time out, unless they get professional guidance. It seldom occurs overnight, and in fact, can take years to accomplish.

Because our taste buds have been exposed to, and our brains have experienced the excitement of salt, sugar, and spices, we may miss those tastes initially when they are no longer part of the daily diet.” (p. 251)

This really made me feel better. I was pretty down on myself over derailing for cooked/salty food the first time… and the second… and the third. This is most certainly a process, one I plan to keep working on. Lord willing, one day I’ll cross over to low-fat, raw-vegan and stay there. I was hoping he would have some kind of formula for convincing your spouse to do the diet with you. Instead he says, “accept them where they are, and then lead by example, with an open heart… you will have far greater success if you do.” Yeah, not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I know it’s true. If it were up to me, we would remove the oven and the microwave and install shelves to hold raw fruit in their place… maybe one day (picture me daydreaming with a goofy grin on my face).

The third book I purchased isn’t necessarily about raw food. I first heard about this book while watching the documentary, Forks over Knives. If you have Netflix, you really must watch this flick. It totally transformed our belief system about food – literally overnight. The movie interviews a doctor by the name of T. Colin Campbell. I’ve wanted to read his book, The China Study, since October of last year. I began reading it today and all I can say is, “Wow!” It amazes me that this information isn’t common knowledge, especially with all of this scientific proof to back it up. I’ve talked to a lot of people over the past seven months about what we are learning about our bodies and the foods that we eat. Most find it “interesting” but not enough to alter their belief system. I am usually hesitant to say any particular diet is right for everyone, but what I’m learning has me wanting to shout, “Eat your fruits and veggies, people!” Grab a copy of The China Study and see what you think for yourself. This book doesn’t chant, “raw, raw, raw”, but it does give a great argument for a whole-food, plant-based, vegan diet. Hmm, not really sure what “plant, plant, plant” sounds like when you chant it, but I’m thinking it may just be the sound of health restoration.

It’s been almost 7 months (in three days) since our switch to vegan. Honestly, being vegan hasn’t been as difficult as I thought. Don’t get me wrong, those first weeks we had no idea how to eat. Many of our “go-to” meals and snacks revolved around some kind of animal by-product. Cheese, turkey, yogurt… these were staples so figuring out what to eat instead wasn’t easy. It helped to get the word “protein” out of our heads. We’re all told that we need a ridiculous amount of protein. “What about protein? How do you get enough protein? You need more protein!” Protein exists in plants, I eat plants, ‘nuf said.

I’ve noticed some positive changes since becoming vegan, one being a little bit of weight-loss. My monthly cycle “good days” have increased and the “bad days” have decreased. The overall cycle is closer to normal length now. Still, I felt like things could get even better and faster. So, I decided to do a 30 day raw challenge. Unfortunately, I opted for the taste of cooked food after about seven weeks. When I read my seven week entry today, I was floored I ate that junk because I was feeling so good. I have struggled to fully return to raw food ever since. About half the weight I lost during the challenge came back and I’ve hovered there for weeks… going up, down, up, down, up… Of course, being injured off and on for the last three weeks or so hasn’t helped. Limited activity and pain turned into a bit of depression. “Boohoo, poor me…” you get the idea.

With the half-marathon looming over my head, those injuries sent my frustration level went through the roof. Seeing the Husband’s runs added to the frustration. I was happy for him but jealousy reared it’s ugly head. I was the runner in this house… just like I was the “computer geek” when we met. He’s surpassed my skills on both counts now. He’s even “published” (albeit it was his opinion of the book) and now sits at his goal weight while I struggle to accomplish both. Sigh.

I’ve learned in the past few days that I am a very insecure person. This might come as a shock to some who know me, while others will think “well, duh!” I’ve been reading So Long Insecurity: You’ve been a Bad Friend to Us by Beth Moore. I can’t even put into words how open my eyes are to the unnecessary turmoil I’ve lived with for decades. The jealousy I feel toward the Husband is merely my own insecurity flaring up. I know who I am in Christ, but now it’s time to start believing it.

Where my nutrition is concerned, I have insecurities there as well. I know people thought I was crazy to live primarily on fruit. I often wished I looked like the picture of health so that my dietary choices would be validated somehow. I wanted others to do it with me so that I wouldn’t be alone. When it comes right down to it though, I have to decide the answer to one question. “Is merely surviving enough for me?” That’s what I feel like I’ve been doing since leaving 100% raw eating… surviving. Here I sit on my sofa on Sunday morning rather than being in church. Why? Because getting out of bed is difficult. I ache all over and I’m exhausted. Don’t think for a moment that this is due to being vegan, I felt much worse as a meat eater, I just kept it to myself because I thought it was “normal”. Having felt, first hand, how good I can feel, this current state feels like waiting for death. Which is why I call it “surviving”. I didn’t realize how bad I felt until I actually felt good. The difference is indescribable.

I’m reminded of two plants that we purchased for our yard about two years ago. I intended to plant them both in the area of the yard we were landscaping at the time, but both of them wouldn’t “fit”. So, I planted one in that area and the other I planted in a part of the yard, that still today, has not been landscaped (this project is taking lots of moolah so it must be done in stages). The plant in the landscaped area with adequate water, fertilizer…etc is beautiful and produces lovely flowers. The other plant, however, looks much different. Until this spring when some green appeared on it, we actually thought it was dead. This sickly plant is still alive but it has taken much longer to show growth and hasn’t bloomed. The soil is too sandy and lacks nutrients, it is only watered when it rains/snows, and it is surrounded by weeds. It truly is miraculous that it is still alive. Both plants started out looking almost identical. The one receiving good care is thriving, whereas the other one is merely surviving the best it can in those conditions.

So, why haven’t I stuck with what I know makes me “thrive”? Because you feel worse before you feel better. Because it takes about two weeks to really start feeling the benefits. Because I feel like a failure for all the do-overs. Because I live with five other people who have no desire to eat raw so I’m fixing two meals. Because when we eat out, I feel like an oddball so I give in (hello, is this insecurity or what?!). But isn’t feeling yucky much worse than the obstacles or feeling like a “weirdo”? Yes!

Hmm. To thrive or not to thrive… that is the question.